Whenever something happens that involves the black LGBTQ community, I dread social media. Social media algorithms weaponize my likes and bombard me with the conversations over and over again.  I get to see some of the most hateful comments from folks that live and work in the same communities and city as I do.  Folks that I stand with on other issues.  I see them in community with other friends, that don’t shut it down, that condone and joke and laugh under the guise of “its just facebook” or justified by some religious belief… often the only time they proudly identify as a follower of that religion..

The cycle is always the same for me.  Start out jumping in the conversations, “teach my people” I think. ”I used to be just like them. Share sound logic and information.  It will help”.

Spoiler alert!  It never does.  What ends up happening is the trauma from those conversations and hurt are carried with me into other conversations. Into my meetings, into work and back home.

The pain of someone sharing freely their hate for you and being uplifted and co-signed by folks you know and love never goes away.

And for folks on the other side, for who this is just another hot topic to discuss… they are never really willing to do the work to understand the pain or even acknowledge the pain as real.

My life. My love is not an opinion. Its not a fucking debate to be won on facebook!

And I gotta be real. That makes my patience and tolerance real short in these conversations.  I have found myself quickly deciding someone was homophobic and keeping it moving. I have unfollowed and unfriended them expeditiously on social media and if possible, in real life.  Self-preservation Is a necessary evil in these social justice streets.

So many of us think “activism” is a destination. You read a few books, learn all the social justice lingo and “mama you made it”.   you lit out here!  A nigga quite literally, can’t tell you nothing.  So many of us who are so well versed on racism are blind as fuck when it comes to the intersections of gender and sexual orientation and refuse to see it.

Which is why it becomes so easy to label folks as trash and keep it moving. As my activism has evolved, so has my feelings regarding easily discarding black folks.   I cannot ignore the fact that black people are consistently labeled as ‘trash”.  We are the most expendable in all circumstances and I  feel “some kind of way” about how easily I fall into that cycle.  I also have to be honest and say some folks just caught the collateral damage from raging homophobic, transphobic, sexist and their questions or comment made me feel it necessary to be “better safe than sorry”.  Contrary to popular belief, while black girls are magic, we aint super heroes.    I see folks in their feelings about how easy it is to be dismissed.. without analyzing how dismissive or superficial their own conversation attempts or questions were to begin with.

Labeling black anti-gay, anti-trans, and/or sexist black folks as trash and removing them from my life does make me feel better. It gives me a sense of control. I cant stop the votes that limit my rights, I can’t stop the looks, and the judgment, the uncomfortable moments of silence after I introduce my partner or mention that I have one.  But I can, in that moment, silence them. it allows me to create a space where I can see the world I want to live in. But it ain’t reality.

But it doesn’t solve the issue. It doesn’t stop folks from being trash and that means the cycle will always continue.  I will always be fighting for lgbq rights or the rights of trans folks, or women or some combination of the three… and only finding power in shutting them down and silencing them on my social media feed.

What kind of power is that?  That aint the liberation im putting my life on the line for in these streets.

But whose job is it to do the work on moving folks from trash to treasure?

And who’s going to protect all of the black folks that fall outside of the traditional “norm” in the meantime?

I aint got the answers, Sway.

 

 

 

*p.s.  i aint edit this thang for spelling nor grammar.  and I dont plan on it.  if its hard to actually understand, I will think about it. If you just pedantic in nature. this aint really the spot for ya. but you are still welcome cause of the whole not throwing folks away thing.